A BEAUTIFUL DAY IN THE NEIGHBOURHOOD

By SHAGORIKA EASWAR

Watching the news these days may lead some people to the gloomy conclusion that this world is a grim place.

There are days when it seems like the only things people care about are money and power, and that greed, indifference, or even hatred are everywhere. But a study conducted by the researchers at Queendom reveals a ray of hope.

Making human connections, taking care of one another, and improving the world is becoming much more important to people than both money and power. According to the study, people value relationships, altruism, and ethics more than power, recognition, and financial security.

Researchers analysed data from a sample of 1,088 people of different ages and ethnicities who took the Values Profile Test.

Here’s what people valued the most, in order of importance:

67% of the people value empathy.

67% value hard work.

65% value their relationships with family and friends.

64% value a sense of belonging.

62% value stability – a stable job, a steady paycheck, a structured work environment, etc.

60% consider altruism, charity, and giving to others extremely important.

57% consider it important to make strong social connections.

56% have strong community values – this includes being neighbourly, making a positive contribution to society, engaging in important social and environmental work, etc.

55% consider it essential to live a life according to their morals and principles.

51% value innovation and advances in technology.

47% value career success.

39% value knowledge.

38% consider financial security important.

34% value beauty in different forms, both natural and man-made.

33% value creativity.

28% value recognition and fame.

25% consider religion and/or spirituality important.

26% value power.

24% value and thrive on competition.

15% value compliance and obedience.

“We are constantly inundated with news reports on the pandemic, anti-maskers, conspiracy theories, ruthless politics, and mass shootings,” explains Dr. Ilona Jerabek, president of PsychTests, the parent company of Queendom. “This can paint a very dark picture of society, and leave people feeling and believing that the world is hostile and hopeless. The truth is that we are beginning to see a shift – a shift back, if you will – to more wholesome values. The more negativity we see in the world around us, the stronger the desire seems to get back to what is truly important. When horrible things happen, we pull together – most of us, anyway. And all the tangible things that we once considered important, like money and luxuries, lose their value.

“When you hear about a mass shooting in a school, all you want to do is go home and hug your children or grandchildren. When you see an injustice in the world, or witness people being treated unfairly, it brings up a deep desire in you to help in some way, or to at least treat your neighbours with more care and respect.

“At the end of the day, what matters most is human connection. It’s love, generosity, and the desire to live in a better world. This is what the majority of the world values, which is a strong sign of hope, if ever there was one.”

As we reach out and reconnect with each other after months of dealing with isolation and being cut off from loved ones, I look back at our early years in Canada.

Brand new in the country, we moved into our first home, full of hope – and some trepidation. Would our neighbours welcome a family from across the world or would we be seen as oddities, to perhaps be greeted politely but left mostly to our own devices? Would our sons make friends easily at school? Would parents of other kids have them over for play dates? Because while one can come to terms with some harsh realities as an adult, even explain it as collateral damage associated with migration, it is very hard to deal with the isolation kids might have to face as a result.

But our fears were soon laid to rest.

On day one, our next-door neighbour Dorothy welcomed us to the neighbourhood and went on to become a dear friend and my gardening guru.

She would bring her son who was visiting from Vancouver over to see us. Reminding me so much of parents who take their children to visit neighbours in India when they visit. It’s a way of establishing a network. He asked us to keep an eye on her. I assured him we would. We love Dorothy, I said. I know, he responded, she says she wants to adopt you!

When I sent our sons out to rake and shovel for her, she wanted to pay them. I refused on their behalf. Dorothy said kids make a little money this way and I said yes, but not from friends. Because she would leap out to join them, they took to doing it when she was not around. One year, we made a mistake. And paid a heavy price. Literally.

She was away in New York visiting her daughter and her apple tree was dropping apples like crazy in the backyard. There they lay, rotting, while I recalled her saying she had once slipped on a rotten apple. So we took to going over to pick them up and dump them in tin tubs she had in her shed that I had access to as I borrowed her shovel, her cutters, her pruners... as I built my own collection.

We thought she’d be happy to see a clean yard on her return, but I saw her go to the backyard and return looking troubled. I asked if everything was okay and she said the apples had to be moved to the curb, they couldn’t just sit there.

When we went to help, we realized the darn tubs now weighed a ton. They would not budge. We had to empty them bag by bag and bring them to the curb. Anyone who has gone apple picking will know just how many apples a tree produces.

Imagine picking them all and carrying them to the curb as yard waste!

When we were done, Dorothy invited us in for lemonade. And proclaimed with a mischievous grin, “No good deed shall go unpunished!”

Kids would come over to play, ladies welcomed me to bowling and coffee afternoons. Neighbours picked up our mail and watered our plants while we were away. They were willing babysitters, and brought over baked goods and plants for my garden on a regular basis.

Our neighbours asked about our customs and clothes and told us about theirs.

Maria wished me a cheery buongiorno! and said our customs were much like theirs, an amalgamation of Italian and Croatian.

French-speaking Monique and Henri looked so young that we asked if their kids would like to come over to play and they laughed and said their grandkids would love to.

June, whose mother came to Canada from Ireland, wanted me to take her to the Swaminarayan temple.

Janet, with whom I bonded over walking her dogs.

Patricia, who learned how to make rotis for her daughter who had to have yeast-free bread and who loved rotis at out place.

Marietta, who told her son we were all alike under the skin when he asked why we were brown while they were white. Her husband Earle who drove us to the airport. And drove me nuts, asking if we had locked the door, switched off the cooking range, checked if we had our passports.

Dolly, who dropped off kadhi-chawal when we returned.

Alka, who took me on a walking tour of the neighbourhood, showing me the shops and most important, the library! They were the first family we exchanged Diwali mithai with in Canada. The slotted spoon for frying and the belan I use to this day are from her.

Linda, who got me into volunteering at the school and baking vast batches of treats for the kids – reindeer cupcakes with pretzels for antlers for Christmas and loaded with candy and gummy hearts for Valentine’s Day.

Amy, who introduced our son to the concept of Scouting and went on to become another gardening buddy, someone I went on garden tours with.

They were originally from England, France, Italy, Ukraine and India and this was my world, a mini cosmos called Canada.

• Check out the Values Profile Test at www.queendom.com.

HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW YOUR TOWN OR CITY?

From NEWS CANADA

You might think you know your town or city like the back of your hand. But if you go for a walk or a drive in your neighbourhood, you might be surprised to spot a new shop or a landmark that you didn’t notice before.

Whether you’re planning a staycation or just need a new family activity, there’s no better time to learn more about where you live.

Here are some fun ways to explore your hometown on a new level:

Create a photo scavenger hunt. Perfect for a family get together. Write out a list of things to photograph around town and then hit the streets and get snapping. Items can be as specific as local landmarks and as general as squirrels or colours. The first to find everything on the list wins a prize. Try printing the best photos or creating your own social media hashtag to share your discoveries and have an easy way to look back on the day.

Visit local shops. Another great way to play a tourist in your own backyard is to discover new finds while supporting local businesses. Try every local restaurant in your town or in a specific neighbourhood over a period of several months. Or decide to only buy from local stores during a specific time frame. Cross off local shops from ‘best of’ lists to make your own definitive list and share with family and friends. When you support local, it’s a great way to discover character, hidden gems and the people of your hometown.

Explore local history. From haunted alleyways to sacred monuments, every town has its own unique story to tell. You can reach out to your local library or search online to gain some historical insights.

To get the most out of what you learn, discuss it with family, friends or online. Free resources like census data can also give a unique portrait of your community’s population, and how it has evolved over time. Check out the latest data visualization tools for this information, including easy to understand maps, graphs and trends for your area. What do your family and friends think about it? If your town began full of young families but is now primarily retirees, what drove the change? You might be surprised by what you uncover.

More info at statcan.gc.ca/census.  

EXPERTS SAY KNOWING SIX NEIGHBOURS CAN REDUCE STRESS

From NEWS CANADA

In recent years, the importance of a strong and connected community had taken a backseat to other priorities in our on-the-go lifestyles.

But since the pandemic forced us to stay local, our neighbourhood has taken on a whole new meaning, and the people and places surrounding our homes have become a vital part of our overall happiness.

Create new connections and engage with the world right at your fingertips with these tips:

Start by saying “Hi”.

So often we focus on going about our day-to-day lives that we forget to make time to get to know those living right on our street. Introductions don’t need to be intimidating. Say a quick hello to those you see on a regular basis, like someone on your block who is walking their dog or doing their gardening.

Or introduce yourself to your neighbours digitally. Join a neighbourhood platform like Nextdoor, the neighbourhood app, to connect with the people and places near you. Start with a simple introduction or join a group to build connections with neighbours who share similar interests.

According to a study, knowing as few as six neighbours reduces loneliness and is linked to lowering depression, social anxiety, and financial concerns related to COVID-19.

The study, which was conducted in partnership with a team of leading mental health experts, also found that performing small acts of kindness for neighbours reduced the likelihood of feeling lonely.

Looking for ways to safely get involved in your neighbourhood? Here are a few ways to get started:

Check in with neighbours, from a distance or virtually.

See if your neighbours, particularly the vulnerable or elderly, need any help. Consider picking up groceries for them next time you head to the store or helping them with work in the yard.

Contribute to your local culture and businesses. Whether you’re ordering in from your local pizza place or writing a positive review for a nearby business, support the businesses in your community that may be suffering during this difficult time.

“As we commute less and stay home more, the role of the neighbourhood has never been more important,” explains Christopher Doyle, managing director of Nextdoor Canada. “While for some getting to know your neighbours can be daunting, building meaningful connections with those in your neighbourhood really is easier and more rewarding than you may initially think.”

Share recommendations. Know a great local business or have a positive experience with a particular plumber? Share your recommendations and connect with the people and places nearby. Not only will you help someone find what they’re looking for, it’s also an effective way to support local companies.

Find common interests. From evening walks and puzzles, to baking challenges and knitting, if you have a particular passion, chances are some of your neighbours may too. Consider starting a group to connect with like-minded people in your community. These groups can be key in fighting loneliness while helping to strengthen the relationships within your area.

Welcome differences. Sometimes we have different views, and that’s one of the things that make neighbourhoods great. Having an open mindset and positive attitude when it comes to unique differences can help you build stronger relationships.  Remember, when emergencies strike, your neighbours are often the people closest to you and most able to help.

Find more ways to connect with the Nextdoor app.