WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?

By DR VICKI BISMILLA

I was recently asked, “What makes you happy?” For me the obvious answer was, “My grandchildren, my children and their spouses.”

Different people assess their happiness in different ways, obviously.

The most extreme example of the concept of happiness being taken to a whole new politicized level is Bhutan where the government decided to measure not the usual gross domestic product (GDP) but its gross domestic happiness (GDH) or gross national happiness (GNH).

Their GNH index measures the collective happiness and well-being of its people. The four pillars of their GNH are sustainable socioeconomic development, good governance and equality, preservation of a resilient culture and ecological sustainability. However, Bhutan has been criticized about using this as a propaganda tool while their people live in grinding poverty.

Factors such as poverty, illness, war, oppression and other hardships around the world make living extremely difficult for huge swaths of populations. Their children and families are no less loved and important to them as they struggle against the bombardment of physical attacks, as well as mental, emotional, financial and psychological anguish. There may be little sparks that offer momentary happiness like a rare opportunity, a job, a miracle, a rescue, or a kindness, but sustained happiness in those conditions is a mirage for millions of people.

Happiness is an emotional state, a feeling of joy and fulfillment. It can be shaped by personal contentment about oneself, by family or social groups, comfort, success, and feeling positive about life overall. These are all personal factors and hence subjective.

Happiness is felt differently at various stages of our lives.

A carefree and joyful childhood can evolve into teenage angst about school and peers, then into young adult uncertainties about relationships, higher education, career choices, work-related stress, middle age health issues, ageing challenges and old age. 

Happiness may not be a state of constant euphoria, rather a feeling of positive emotions more usually than negative worries.

Aristotle identified two different kinds of happiness.

The first he labelled as “hedonia”, a happiness that comes from pleasure, doing what feels good.

The second kind of happiness he called “eudaimonia”, which he ascribed to seeking virtue, and feeling that your life has meaning, value, purpose, concern with the welfare of others, a more empathetic life.

But as measuring tools these, again, are subjective and intrinsic. However, these are important since positive emotions like joy, gratitude, optimism, and contentment are believed to benefit health.

Negative emotions and worries are often associated with developing certain health problems.

Positivity increases our satisfaction with life, with building coping skills, resilience, having good relationships with people we care about, showing a bright welcoming face to them, being fun to be with, and having a supportive, welcoming circle.

So, it is important to enjoy the moment, feel gratitude for what we have and appreciate the positive people in our lives. There is a whole field of study in this regard called positive psychology which you can look-up if interested.

There is research out of Berkeley (greatergood.berkeley.edu) that found that people from cultures that embrace collectivist ideals think about happiness more in terms of harmony, community coherence, friendships and contentment.

Their happiness is shaped by family and social groups, their community circle and helping people around them; while more individualistic minded people connect happiness to feelings of personal exuberance, joy and the pursuit and attainment of individualized goals.

The researchers found that some communities who share histories of oppression deliberately practise altruism, compassion, social connection, and the pursuit of positive group dynamics that help the safety and happiness of their communal groups.

So, a simple question, “What makes you happy?” can go off on many complicated tangents by philosophers, psychologists, scientists, historians, sociologists and, curiously, by politicians. Is it a mental state, a physical state, a group dynamic or personal euphoria? While these experts have the luxury of pursuing theories and making them as complicated as they can, for ordinary people living their everyday lives happiness continues to be a simple matter. If you are being oppressed, criticized, subjected to insults and sarcasm, experiencing physical violence or mental abuse then happiness is not only elusive but impossible to attain. If you have caring and safe relationships, then happiness becomes attainable.

As ordinary people, we do have the opportunity to experience instances that lift our spirits, maybe not long or sustained moments of enduring happiness but certainly spirit-uplifting experiences.

These may include going for a walk either just around our neighbourhoods or more planned walks through wooded areas surrounded by nature; along rivers, streams or lakes; through botanical gardens; or making a trip into town to walk along the shades of fragrant blooming cherry blossoms.

For many people listening quietly undisturbed to favourite calming music is Zen; or meditating; or standing uninhibited in pouring rain.

Other activities too can be a balm for our spirits like gardening for some or hobbies for others. Playing with children in the family, enjoying their laughter, being engaged in their board games, chasing a ball with them, reading books or telling stories, these are all pathways to lightening our hearts, lifting our spirits and gifting our souls.

Please share with us what makes you happy or for a while uplifts your spirits.