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SELF-LOVE IS THE ONLY TRUE LOVE
Study shows that romantic love without self-love is unfulfilling. Image credit: PABLO MERCHA MONTES on Unsplash.
Research by Queendom.com suggests that self-love is a key determinant of happiness, regardless of whether an individual is in a relationship or not.
Step into any bookstore, and you’re bound to find a self-help book proclaiming, “To be loved by others, you must first love yourself”. While this may sound like mere pop psychology, compelling evidence underpins this claim.
A comprehensive study conducted by researchers at Queendom.com has unveiled that a lack of self-love is significantly more detrimental than the absence of love from others.
Analyzing the data collected from 6,773 people in the general population, Queendom’s researchers compared four groups:
The “all-loving” group: People who are in a loving relationship and who also love themselves.
The “no-loving” group: People who are not in a relationship and who also don’t love themselves.
The “romantic-loving” group: People who are in a loving relationship but who don’t love themselves.
The “self-loving” group: People who are not in a relationship but who love themselves.
Queendom’s researchers first compared the four groups on key aspects of life satisfaction. Here is how each group scored (scores can range from 0 to 100; the higher the score, the better):
Overall level of life satisfaction and happiness
All-loving group: 79/100
No-loving group: 38/100
Romantic-loving group: 47/100
Self-loving group: 72/100
Satisfaction with psychological health
All-loving group: 89/100
No-loving group: 31/100
Romantic-loving group: 38/100
Self-loving group: 86/100
Having a sense of purpose
All-loving group: 90/100
No-loving group: 45/100
Romantic-loving group: 57/100
Self-loving group: 89/100
Resilience
All-loving group: 77/100
No-loving group: 38/100
Romantic-loving group: 42/100
Self-loving group: 74/100
Positive attitude
All-loving group: 78/100
No-loving group: 31/100
Romantic-loving group: 41/100
Self-loving group: 74/100
When digging a little deeper into the personalities, attitudes, and behaviours of the different groups in order to better understand why a lack of self-love is so detrimental, Queendom researchers uncovered some surprising statistics:
Percentage of people in the group who experience suicidal thoughts
All-loving group: 4%
No-loving group: 53%
Romantic-loving group: 38%
Self-loving group: 5%
Percentage of people with self-esteem issues
All-loving group: 1%
No-loving group: 79%
Romantic-loving group: 61%
Self-loving group: 1%
Percentage of people who wish they can go back in time and live their lives differently
All-loving group: 9%
No-loving group: 75%
Romantic-loving group: 54%
Self-loving group: 22%
Percentage of people who frequently feel depressed
All-loving group: 5%
No-loving group: 79%
Romantic-loving group: 68%
Self-loving group: 9%
Percentage of people who believe they don’t deserve to be loved
All-loving group: 4%
No-loving group: 62%
Romantic-loving group: 50%
Self-loving group: 6%
Percentage of people who hate their appearance or have poor body image
All-loving group: 4%
No-loving group: 88%
Romantic-loving group: 87%
Self-loving group: 8%
Percentage of people who had strict, cold, abusive or negligent parents
All-loving group: 29%
No-loving group: 38%
Romantic-loving group: 39%
Self-loving group: 25%
“While receiving love from others may momentarily boost your self-esteem, it falls short of filling the void created by an absence of self-love,” explains Dr Ilona Jerabek, president of Queendom. “External affection cannot mend all emotional wounds and make you whole. Individuals cherished by a partner yet devoid of self-love fare only marginally better than those deprived of love entirely. This is profound.”
Dr Jerabek further warns against the perils of outsourcing one’s happiness and self-worth to others’ opinions, describing it as “a relentless emotional roller coaster”.
“While romantic love can boost life satisfaction, the improvement is marginal,” she concludes. “Self-love provides protection against depression, anxiety, stress, suicidal thoughts, body image and self-esteem issues, and can even heal the negative effects of a difficult childhood. Self-love is incredibly important and powerful, and it is very challenging to live a happy, fulfilling life without it.”
How satisfied are you with your love life, yourself, and more? Check out the Life Satisfaction Test here.