MY TAKE
WHY DO WE LOVE BAD BOYS?
The success of some recent movies speak volumes about our love for the brooding, rude, standoffish romantic hero. Image credit: MURAT ISIK on Pexels.
By SHAGORIKA EASWAR
Janeites who have swooned over Darcy in Pride & Prejudice would be horrified (as I was) to see the sketch of a lord (one presumes) with the devil’s horns on the cover of The Darcy Myth.
The line, Jane Austen, Literary Heartthrobs, and the Monsters They Taught Us to Love leaves one in no doubt about his identity. Well, okay, maybe having to choose between Darcy and Heathcliff.
But stick with it and you might find yourself nodding along as Rachel Feder makes a strong case against the brooding, rude, standoffish romantic hero. And she presents a funny, brainy, eye-opening take on how our contemporary love stories are actually pretty terrifying.
Exhibit 1: Simon Bassett from Bridgerton.
Exhibit 2: Edward Cullen from Twilight.
Exhibit 3: Christian Grey from Fifty Shades of Grey.
I have to confess that my spontaneous response was to dismiss the premise. I love books with male protagonists who are gentle and respectful. As do most of my friends who are all avid readers. If you asked us, we’d say, in unison, we do not love bad boys!
But maybe we do?
Why else would Pride & Prejudice remain a firm favourite?
Reading The Darcy Myth, I found myself moving past my initial skepticism and revisiting some of my other favourite titles.
Gone With the Wind, for one. I and all my friends swooned over Rhett Butler and found Ashley Wilkes to be a bit of a wimp. But Ashley was the perfect gentleman and Rhett, a rogue.
It’s not just books.
I recall a friend saying she loved Omar Sharif’s character in McKenna’s Gold and found Gregory Peck’s character wishy washy. But Omar Sharif played the bad guy and Peck was the avenging hero.
Closer to our current times, the success of movies like Kabir and Animal speak volumes about our love for rough and violent leading men. Before anyone asks, I didn’t care for Kabir and haven’t even watched Animal, but going by the numbers, many women have, and loved them.
And we’re not talking about the leading ladies of countless movies who are simpering by the end of a song sequence. Ones that begin with her flouncing off and resisting the leading man’s advances – and manhandling. This is about real women who love these rude and rough characters.
A friend of mine says maybe we were like that because we didn’t have choice – those were the movies of the day. She confesses in a half whisper about the video of a song she recently watched.
“You know I love old songs,” she says in her defensive preamble. “Main kahin kavi na ban jaoon from the movie Pyar Hi Pyar was on a playlist I was watching and it was awful. Dharmendra accosts Vyjayanthimala in an elevator and gets very aggressive physically while singing a ‘love song’. It was so creepy. Any sensible woman would have yelled for help.”
But it’s not a generational thing – younger women who were not raised on a diet of over-the-top masculinity, who are aware of intimate partner violence issues, who recognize a stalker when they see one, still love such books and movies.
In an episode of Do I Like It, Prateek Lidhoo explores our love for violent movies. He’s not questioning why women, specifically, like such movies but his take is something to think about.
“A film or an ad film reveals a lot about the people’s state of mind,” he says. “The social and political realities seep in. It’s a form of catharsis.”
So what does it say about us that we are drawn to heroes we should be steering clear of?
An old Hindi song comes to mind.
Aap ki nazaron ne samjha pyar ke kabil mujhe...
The Darcy Myth by Rachel Feder is published by Quirk, $22.99.
It was on my list of all-time favorites. Until I paid attention to the words and was revolted by the abject grovelling gratitude implicit in being “accepted” by her husband.
To be fair, the hero in the movie did not play a cad (if memory serves me right, but perhaps schedule a rewatch?), but still, to have a woman be eternally grateful for a kind, loving word creeps me out. It is so not how women should feel.
While I still listen to the song – Madan Mohan’s melody is timeless – I try and tune the words out.
Heed the words of Rachel Feder: We need to get free from Mr Darcy so that we can invest our time and energy into making our lives better, and fairer, and safer.