ARE YOU LANGUISHING?

By TASLIM JAFFER-MURJI

Do you feel like you’re in a weird state of limbo lately? Does it seem like you’re going through the motions of life in a perpetual cycle of ‘wash, rinse, repeat’ and every day feels like Groundhog day?

If you are feeling aimless, joyless, stuck, or simply unmotivated, you are not alone. What you’re feeling is a real condition, it’s called languishing. 

The ever-growing dullness and a never-ending quarantine. The pandemic took us all by surprise and has undoubtedly taken a toll on our mental health. We’ve done our best to weather the storm, but many are worn down from what feels like endless months of getting our hopes up for a return to “normal”. With daily reports of COVID cases on the rise, and feeling crushed when stay-at-home orders get extended, it’s been hard to remain positive and optimistic.

We long for the moments that once filled our hearts with joy – simple things like popping in for a visit with our loved ones, hugging a dear friend, enjoying a meal at a restaurant, or even getting a fresh new haircut. Yet here we are, living in an abyss, wondering when and how our lives will return to normal.

What is languishing? Organizational psychologist Adam Grant helped us put a name to our collective experience in his article Languishing: The Neglected Middle Child of Mental Health. He describes languishing as “a sense of stagnation and emptiness” and explains that it is different from burnout or depression. Languishing can be the impact of us carrying the heavy emotional load of the pandemic over an extended period of time. Somewhere along the way, we lost the sparks we felt when we were learning how to bake our own bread, and sharing our attempts at crafting the perfect cappuccino on social media. After months of living in lockdown, many of us found ourselves left with an underwhelming sense of “blah”.

Sociologist Corey Keyes also described the feeling of languishing in his journal article, The Mental Health Continuum: From Languishing to Flourishing in Life. Keyes’ research suggests that people who experience languishing may be at a greater risk for developing more severe mental health concerns in the future, such as major depressive disorders. Recognizing the symptoms of languishing and doing something about it early, can be a healthy dose of prevention.

Creating your own COVID recovery plan and coping with languishing. One of the best ways to cope with difficult emotions is to notice and name our feelings. Naming what we feel gives us an opportunity to acknowledge and validate our internal experience. Once we can identify what we feel, we have a choice about what to do about it. One of the things we can choose to do is decide not to face what we are going through on our own. As humans, we are wired for connection. Sharing our feelings with others has a way of helping us feel less anxious, less fearful, and recognize that we are not alone. As Grant suggests, the next time someone asks how you are doing, let them know, “Honestly, I’m languishing”.

If you can relate to the symptoms of languishing and are wondering what you can do to cope, here are some tips that may help:

• Establish a healthy morning routine. Try incorporating Julie Ela Grace’s Five-Minute Morning Routine Practice On Gratitude, available free through the Insight Timer app.

• Break up your day with a mid-day walk. Spending time in nature and getting fresh air each day can be healing. Exercise boosts your feel-good hormones, and can also help improve sleep and decrease stress. 

• Stretch, do some light yoga, or just take time to breathe deeply. Your body has endured and adapted to the stress of the pandemic. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to nurture yourself with some attention and self-care?

• Keep a gratitude journal. Take note of things you are grateful for: Having a warm, cozy bed to sleep in, enjoying a nutritious, home-made meal, or having the love and support of a caring partner, good friends, and close family. Reminding yourself to be thankful each day can help bring up positive emotions and keep the negativity at bay.

Trust your instincts. If you or someone you know might be languishing or struggling with other difficult emotions at this time, it’s important to trust your intuition and reach out for support. Try talking to a close friend, a trusted relative, or seek help from a mental health professional in your area who can support you on your post-pandemic healing journey.