A WORD (OR TWO HUNDRED) FROM THE EDITOR

Once upon a time, couples sought guidance on marital issues from the girl’s mother – the husband, because she’d tell her daughter to behave; the wife, because what was the point in seeking help from the woman who had raised a son like her husband in the first place?

This could be about everything from emotional and physical abuse to being forced to be a one-woman army, taking care of everything, big or small, with little help. Now marriage counsellors and online chat groups have stepped in to help address many issues.

And there’s a referee where household chores are concerned!

Choreful Aims to Bridge the Gender Chore Gap... and Rescue Relationships in the Process, was the heading of a press release I received.

“Fighting with your significant other about who does more around the house? Bickering over the dishes? The laundry? Taking out the garbage? Getting the kids to bed? Walking the dog?

“Have you ever wondered who actually does more chores, you or your partner? Don’t let those little resentments pile up and take down your love life. Instead, download the Choreful App and accurately track who takes on which household chores each day, week, and month.”

The app promises to revamp how couples divvy up life’s daily drudgery, turning routine into a fun and competitive game as they record the chores each performs, tally the points, and reward each other for a job well done. The majority of users are women – no surprises there! – sharing that either their husband had started doing more, or recognizing inequities in household responsibilities they hadn’t seen before.

“When Eva and I started using the app, I was actually shocked to find that I wasn’t doing my fair share,” says Robin Havre, who developed the app after he and his girlfriend Eva began to argue over household chores, both feeling like they were getting the short end of the stick. “I was surprised to find out that I was doing less than 40 per cent of the household chores, and she was doing more than 60 per cent. It was definitely a wakeup call,” he admits.

Grant’s Desi Achiever Andrea Gunraj (August 2022) had said, “The problem is that our economy is built on the idea that women should take care of the kids and the elderly and do it all for free. That needs to change. We should ensure that women’s free hours are not taken up by unpaid work.”

A woman can claim free hours for herself only with a fair sharing of chores. There used to be an ad in India in the 90s for a pressure cooker – “Jo biwi se kare pyaar woh kaise kare Prestige se inkaar,” encouraging husbands to get a particular brand of pressure cooker for their wives. Note, there was no mention of the man using it.

So buy the chocolates and the roses, perhaps even the pressure cooker. But remember, the time spent doing chores together is the best gift of all.

Ramadan mubarak!

Shagorika Easwar