AN UNAPOLOGETIC VOICE FOR MARGINALIZED WOMEN

By SHAGORIKA EASWAR

Kripa Sekhar’s reputation as a champion for the inclusion of diverse, marginalized and isolated women’s voices is well established.

She works with women’s groups and other social justice organizations nationally and internationally on issues related to immigration and settlement, anti-violence, anti-racism, labour, education, poverty and public policy. She has served on the provincial human trafficking advisory committee on many boards, including the Metropolitan Action Committee on Violence Against Women and Children (METRAC) and been a member-at-large of the Ontario Council of Agencies Serving Immigrants (OCASI).

She is the Executive Director of South Asian Women’s Centre (SAWC), a voluntary provincial non-profit women’s organization run by, and for South Asian Women, and describes herself as the local gopher. “I manage the agency’s day-to-day functions, ensure the funding is in place and liaise between the board and the staff. I am also the public profile of the agency, in which I am ably supported by a small but excellent and dedicated team.

“In other words, I make sure all the business of SAWC is taking place in a principled and ethical manner and that the women and families we serve are receiving the best help possible.”

Since she took on her role twenty years ago, they have moved to a bigger space, but the need is ever-growing as they have expanded their services to include Spanish and Portuguese-speaking clients and get calls not only from across the GTA but also outside Ontario.

“When we started, we saw between 10,000 to 12,000 clients a year, now, it is closer to 16,000,” she says. “Clients talk to others about how they were helped and more women come in. During COVID, many students came in to the food bank.”

The food bank, which was a subsidiary service with around 80 clients now serves 250 and has become a key part of the services SAWC offers.

They stayed open throughout the pandemic, while making sure they followed public health policies, because Sekhar says their services are almost like emergency services for women. They also ran vaccination clinics at the agency.

 The need has also widened with more women seeking support for mental health issues, particularly those facing abuse.

“Mental health issues intersect with abuse, difficulty in retaining employment, poverty...” says Sekhar.

Abuse is not, however, a cultural issue, she insists, reiterating what she had said to Steve Paikin once on The Agenda. “No culture says to go out and hurt women. However, in the South Asian context, it has a different way of manifesting because we adhere to certain traditions, certain roles. ‘It was like this back home and so I want it to continue here.’ We see women fearful about speaking up on any form of abuse because of societal conditioning. And things can become difficult in congruent family settings based on where you are on the ladder.”

Sekhar also makes the point that all cultures are misogynistic. While most of us see the job situation as an issue of equity and pay parity, she pegs it as misogyny. And shares her own story.

Sekhar came to Canada with a Masters in English, having taught at a university in India, but was told she needed to take courses to work as an ESL instructor. They couldn’t afford to spend $2000 to $3000 as newcomers and Sekhar had to choose between taking up any job to support her family or investing in her training.

“That is the situation for many South Asian women, specially those in the health sector whose qualifications and years of training are not recognized. Of course, it’s not recognized for men, too, but it’s that much harder for women to be heard. If a South Asian man and a South Asian woman are competing for the same job, the woman will likely take a backseat because that’s how we’ve been trained to think. Things are changing now, but ever so slowly.”

It’s important to recognize that this is not a cultural issue, but one of how women have been socialized to think they can accept all abuse, says Sekhar. Sometimes, they don’t even recognize abuse.

“A woman will say in a social setting with other women – it’s not something she thinks she needs to seek help for – that her husband says she’s looking terrible and needs to fix herself. They don’t realize that just verbal put-downs are a very real form of abuse.”

Much of this is related to how prized a son is in our communities, she says.

“We see the need for a son and the preferential treatment sons are given in other societies, too, but it is predominant in ours. A son will take care of parents in their later years while a daughter will move after marriage – and take care of her in-laws! So having a son is seen as a woman having fulfilled her duty in life. A male child is more valued and pampered. These boys then grow into men who don’t value women. It’s critical that women take responsibility for raising sons who are progressive and sensitive to the needs of women.”

Sekhar’s husband who passed away a few years ago used to make tea and toast for her every morning, she says. He’d ask her what she was planning to wear the next day and iron the outfit while ironing his own clothes.

“I miss those little acts of kindness,” she says.

She herself wasn’t too keen to move to Canada as they enjoyed a good life in Hyderabad, India, but came for better opportunities for their daughters when his sister who was here sponsored them.

They landed in 1990.

“Right when the recession started.”

Her husband, a highly-trained professional with years of experience at senior levels, came up against the lack of Canadian experience barrier. They didn’t know how to navigate the job market, says Sekhar, who was told she shouldn’t wear saris to interviews.

“I was told to meet someone who could guide me and he repeated the same thing, never wear a sari to an interview. That’s all I ever wore, but I took his advice and went out and got myself a green two-piece suit.”

She wore it for her next meeting with him, expecting a pat on the back for her “appropriate for the Canadian workplace” attire. The gentleman took one look at her white tights and said that wouldn’t do.

“I went home in tears, asking myself what have I done to myself. A stranger was telling me how to dress?”

She asked a large department store chain if they were hiring and was told to fill out a form which included questions on whether she would steal and if she saw a colleague shoplifting, would she report it. She returned the form, and went home and told her husband she wanted to return to India.

But things began to look up when she got an entry level position at a school and was then hired as a literacy instructor by the Toronto School Board.

Her husband found a job in Saskatchewan and the family moved. Sekhar looks back on their years in Regina fondly. They made many good friends and she had the opportunity to work with Indigenous women in Beauval, a community five hours’ north of Regina.

“I would travel there in the dead of winter, but it was such a wonderful experience. I learned so much from them and was also able to contribute. The lady who hired me said I had brought the best results.”

She was the Employment and Equity Advisor for the Saskatchewan Human Rights Commission and worked as the Executive Coordinator of the Saskatchewan Action Committee on the Status of Women for almost 14 years before coming to Toronto in 2004. 

“It was initially planned as a three-year stint, but here I am, twenty years later!” laughs Sekhar.

Asked to explain the need for a centre dedicated to South Asian women specifically, Sekhar says they serve women of every ethnicity that come to them, and also that to understand the need for SAWC, we have to go back to its history. The agency was founded in 1982 by volunteers to address a very real need.

“Many agencies funded by the government, those doing stellar work, fall short when it comes to understanding the requirements of different communities. Providing interpreters is not enough. We speak their languages, we have those links to where they come from, we ‘get’ their stories. We can’t perform miracles, but we can listen to them and try and help. With housing, shelters, legal clinics... We have also overcome our own challenges and our volunteers provide trauma-informed counselling.”

Her daughter Aparna, a psychologist currently working in New Zealand and daughter Shimona, who works in IT in Regina, are both proud of the work their mother does, but will sometimes ask her how she could have said what she did on a particular issue.

“I tell them I speak my mind. I believe that truth should be told so one can improve. That doesn’t come from a place of being patronizing, but yes, I might say something like, ‘Really? Do you think you should have done this? I’d have approached this differently.’ I’m just sharing what I’ve learned and benefited from over the years and if that ruffles a few feathers, so be it!

“I’ve faced many challenges, but I’ve also had a beautiful life. I tripped on a chair at work and broke my hip during COVID. My team rallied around me. I still have balance issues, and they drive me to work and back, help with groceries. I am very, very blessed to have all this love, all this kindness.

“I lead a very simple life in a two-bedroom apartment. I see it as proof that everything is possible if you can navigate life’s challenges with grace and the love of those around you. The story of my work is the story of me in many ways. And there are still a few things I wish to accomplish before I say au revoir.”

 • Grant’s is proud to present this series about people who are making a difference in the community. Represented by PMA Canada (www.pmacanada.com).