SENIOR MOMENT
TO RECEIVE, ONE MUST GIVE
Image credit: USMAN YOUSAF on Unsplash.
By DR CHANDRAKANT SHAH
Recently, at the fitness facility, I met a very disgruntled 38-year-old young man bitterly complaining about his father who was refusing to give him money so he could buy a home.
According to him, he was single, an only child, living with his parents, had a master’s degree, owned a boat, a car and two motorcycles which were all provided by his parents. Realizing that all their son wanted was more and more and was not willing or ready to fulfill any of their expectations of being independent and accomplished, they wanted him to learn a life lesson: To receive, one must give!
While this is an extreme example, I often hear from friends, family members and acquaintances about their discontent at others not meeting their expectations. As mentioned in my article in the February issue of Desi News, expectation is the root cause of unhappiness.
Let us explore the idea further.
The concept of giving to receive is not just a philosophical idea but a practical one. Most of our relationships are transactional and reciprocal, except for one – a mother’s relationship with her child. Mothers nurture their young ones without any expectation. It’s important to note that our relationship with God, if you believe in him/her, is also transactional. Many of us pray to the Almighty to receive good health, fortune, and other benefits in this life or the afterlife.
We must also acknowledge that our relationship with the government is transactional. We may complain about taxes without reflecting on the benefits we receive, such as universal healthcare, unemployment insurance, disability payment, supplemental income for poor seniors, defending us from foreign aggression and free education for our children.
Research has repeatedly shown that social connectedness contributes to happiness and longevity.
The person who has a close circle of friends and family lives on average six years longer than those who have few or none. By giving, whether it’s through volunteering, sharing his/her resources, or simply being a giving type of person, one can experience immeasurable benefits in return.
To receive, we must give. It’s a simple concept that can have profound effects on our lives.
Chandrakant Shah, MD, FRCPC, O.ONT., Dr. Sc. (Hon), Professor Emeritus, Dalla Lana School of Public Health, University of Toronto, is an honorary consulting physician, Anishnawbe Health Toronto. He is the author of To Change the World: My Work With Diversity, Equity & Inclusion in Canada.