MY TAKE
COURTESY LESSONS BEGIN AT HOME
Society will be what our kids make it. And our kids will be what we make them. Image credit: NEWS CANADA.
By SHAGORIKA EASWAR
Mary Simon, Canada’s first Indigenous governor general, has received violent threats. Media reports describe the threats as racist, misogynistic and abusive.
Teens are swarming innocent bystanders and causing life-threatening injuries.
People are getting attacked and killed on the TTC.
Peel Regional Police charged two young persons in connection with armed pharmacy robberies with 84 criminal charges, including robbery, wearing a disguise, and breaching a court order – one is 14, the other 15. Both were on a form of conditional release for previous alleged robbery-related offences.
I scan the disturbing, alarming, headlines and find myself saying, “But we are a polite friendly people”.
Polite to a fault. You know the joke about how do you make a Canadian apologize? Step on his toes.
In an edition of The Hub, Geoff Russ writes that Toronto joined Edmonton, Winnipeg, and others as the latest city to suffer from a surge in random attacks. “Homelessness, addiction, mental health, and emptying downtown cores have contributed to the problem...the Toronto Police Service have deployed dozens of officers to patrol the city’s transit systems...Experts have suggested it’s an aftershock of the pandemic, during which over 12 per cent of the paid Canadian workforce was laid off, people struggling with mental health were subjected to prolonged physical and social isolation, shelters cut the number of beds available, and outdoor homeless encampments grew from Victoria to Halifax. Whatever the cause, the issue has quickly become a top priority for Canadians, according to recent polling, and many Canadian cities are experiencing some version of this crime wave.”
I recall instances of the friendly, helping Canada from our early years in the country. When a stranger approached us on a downtown Toronto street as we stood clutching a map. “You look lost,” he said with a smile. “Where do you want to go?”
A couple of years later, there was a townhall meeting for promoters of a proposed development project and community members to each have their say.
Everyone that I spoke to in our neighbourhood was opposed to the development on grounds of crowding, traffic and potential stress on existing civic resources. Going by the strong feelings on the subject, I expected fireworks at the meeting.
But the large gathering was polite, respectful, and gave the developers the time to have their say. Then our neighbours took the mike and listed the reasons they were opposed to the development.
All very civil, and conducted in parliamentary language, I imagined my mother saying in approval.
Then one man got up and berated the developers loud and long. The people listening to him shifted uncomfortably in their seats, but held their peace.
Until he crossed the line and commented on the personal appearance of one of the representatives on the developers’ team. There were immediate calls for him to stop.
When he finally ceded the mike, another man got up and apologized on behalf of the rest of us. “We mean no disrespect, sir,” he said.
I came home all charged with the positivity of the experience. Coming from a country where unruly behaviour in parliament is fairly common, it was a new experience, seeing how dissent could be presented in a non-confrontational manner.
When I read about Toronto the good, I agreed enthusiastically, so what’s going wrong? And is extra policing the solution?
In her column in February 2023, Dr Vicki Bismilla wrote about the importance of teaching children and youth altruism, honesty, respect and kindness.
“As educators we know that toddlers in kindergarten are gentle, friendly and kind little people. Parents lay the foundation to build a baby’s character. If babies are nurtured, loved and taught respect for humanity, chances are those foundations will hold. As they grow into toddlers, children and students, their parents, caregivers, babysitters, teachers, camp counsellors and trusted adults add positive lessons and so, brick by brick, their characters start to be built.”
Our parents and grandparents used to remind us of the basic rules of courteous discourse: “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” And so forth.
Archaic as it might seem in this day and age, I believe that might be a good place to start.
Society will be what our kids make it. And our kids will be what we make them.
For the most part.