CHILDREN BELONG AT HOME WITH THEIR FAMILIES

By SHAGORIKA EASWAR  

No one who hasn’t walked in the shoes of a parent with children with special needs is in a position to even remotely understand the emotional and physical toll that takes.

A recent report in Newmarket Today (which was later picked up other media), points to that sad reality.

More parents are giving their high-needs kids to Children’s Aid. Ontario premier Doug Ford was quoted as saying, “I probably get 10 to 15 calls a day on it... It’s very unfortunate that that’s happening, but we’re pouring money into that.”

He announced an audit and review of the child welfare system, indicating that it was a high priority for the government

According to the article by Jessica Smith Cross, an increasing number of Ontario parents are surrendering their children to the province, not because they’ve abused or neglected them, but because they cannot find the services and support they need to keep them safe at home.

Smith Cross goes on to write that “child welfare directors, workers, and other experts described a shift that’s taken place since COVID-19 struck: the number of overall cases has gone down, but the severity of the needs of the children in care has skyrocketed in many parts of the province.”

Families can’t cope. They’re looking for support, for help for their child, even if it means surrendering the child to an agency.

Can you imagine anything more heartbreaking than that?

“Earlier this year, the Children’s Aid Society of Ottawa (CASO) took the unusual step of issuing a joint union-management news release warning that the child welfare sector is ‘at a tipping point where (it) can no longer provide the necessary care for our most vulnerable youth. Some parents, overwhelmed and unable to care for their children at home due to a lack of community treatment supports, are voluntarily surrendering their children to CASO for placement, in the hope that they will receive the necessary care,’ it said.”

We have all seen news reports from war zones around the world, parents placing their babies in the arms of strangers, begging them to take them to a place of safety.

At other times and other places, people might be forced to by circumstances to give up babies for adoption. But they harbour the hope that the child will thrive in a home with better opportunities and care than they are able to provide.

But in this instance, the services unavailable to parents don’t exist for anyone else either.

“Agencies are having the same trouble as desperate parents in accessing the services the children need. ‘We’re not a treatment facility; we’re a corporate parent with the same limited access to treatment options as any other parent,’ said executive director Kelly Raymond at the time.”

While it’s not clear how prevalent the issue is, according to the article, one child welfare worker estimated that 40 per cent of the kids in care today are there because of complex special needs rather than abuse or neglect. Another worker in Toronto said it’s uncommon there, where there are more support services available for families.

Jess Uddenberg, executive director at Highland Shores Children’s Aid Society in Belleville, was quoted as saying the issue has become “rampant” and has increased in recent years. Some health and community social service providers have shut down and, at the same time, some children’s needs that weren't met through the pandemic have now worsened.

He offered an example of a child who was rejected for over 40 placements – including at group homes that are trained and outfitted and have programs to support youth with these types of challenges – because the child’s history and needs were too complex.

But where’s a parent whose child is prone to assaulting others or self-harm to turn to?

The article mentions such a child being placed in a hotel with a two-to-one supervision ratio.

Which can cost up to over a million dollars a year per child, placing some agencies in deficit as they struggle to provide for children in their care.

Being blessed with a healthy child is like winning the cosmic lottery.

I remember a friend of mine whose child was being treated for an aggressive childhood cancer at Sick Kids saying the nurses there told her she was lucky she and her husband were still together. “Many couples break-up in times like these because they can’t handle it.”

And so one walks away while the other is left dealing with everything alone.

Then there are parents like the family profiled in the Toronto Star recently. Their baby was diagnosed with a rare incurable illness. So this Toronto couple set about finding a treatment and raised $4.5 million to fund research.

The father was quoted as saying he worked a regular job during the day, came home and was a parent in the evening, helping his wife take care of their three children, and then worked into the wee hours, looking for ways to help his child.

But if we lay claim to living in a caring society then surely we can hope for one that funds services parents need desperately in order to look after their children at home, where they should be?