TRUTH BE TOLD
TRY THIS: WRITE YOUR OWN HEADLINES FOR THE DAY
Image credit: MOHAMMED SUHAIL on Pexels.
By DR VICKI BISMILLA
My cousin recently sent me a half-page piece by an anonymous writer who tells of an 87-year-old who looks at life with positivity regardless of newspaper headlines.
The piece resonated with me because I confess that news headlines do, in fact, unsettle me, and truth be told, I am sure it gets many readers down.
The capacity of humans to hurt one another, the horror of pandemics, the hidden histories of horrific wrongs perpetrated by church and state on children, war atrocities, the selfishness of tax-evaders and on and on. Every day we are bombarded by ugly human truths.
So being positive is an important skill to develop and hone.
Not easy, though.
Being dragged down by others is a pit we easily fall into.
The trick appears to be shortening our lenses. We need to look at our closest family circle, to the love that surrounds us, to each hand that is offered in support, each pair of arms that embraces us, each smile that greets us, each kiss they plant on us, each word of joy, the music of their laughter; to look at closest friends and how they express their reasons for being our friend; to people whom we mentor and those who have taken the time to mentor us; and further afield, to hold a thought for people in the world who give selflessly of their time and commitment to others.
So our personal headlines are ours alone.
We find each positive thing that happened on that day and those are the headlines we store in our head and heart for that day.
Those become our personal headlines for the day.
Of course, we must pay attention to news headlines. Good, authentic, ethical journalists work hard to bring us truth from all over the world. So certainly, we react to their reports with our conscience – we vote or vote differently, donate to charities, join protests to fight injustices, boycott products from abusive places, anything that we believe we need to do in good conscience we do.
But dwelling on the harsh realities of daily news and absorbing them into our beings can turn our empathy into a hovering darkness.
And sometimes it’s not even the news of the world that brings negativity. So often we do it to ourselves. There can be ten positive things that happen to us in a day, yet if there was one negative interaction, we tend to perseverate on that one and keep going back chastising ourselves, replaying how we could have avoided it or reacted differently. I don’t profess to know of a sure way to stop going over and over how something could have been said or not said, done or not done – but often after a few symbolic taps on the head, many of us are able to put the minor irritating interaction in the “Don’t do that again” file in our minds and get on with all that is important and valuable in our lives.
Therapists have a name for constant perseverating.
They call it “rumination” and the American Psychological Association posts tips for people who might be obsessive about rumination (see https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-stop-ruminating #tips).
However, a word of caution – our occasional perseverating must not be confused with real medical conditions like autism, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and depression.
If someone in your family often shows signs of obsessive behaviour, then the family doctor must be consulted for a proper medical diagnosis and treatment.
Dr Vicki Bismilla is a retired Superintendent of Schools and retired college Vice-President, Academic, and Chief Learning Officer. She has authored two books.